You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
the condom got lost in my hair
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
