dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
