the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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