what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
