Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
