I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
