Non-Jews are for practice
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Someone shattered a urinal.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
