I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
