we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
