well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I want to make a zoo with you.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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