we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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