I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
