Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
