Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
