the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
