You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
