Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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