Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
