Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
