Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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