Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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