haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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