me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
