So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
