porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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