Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
