Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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