just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
