I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i think we sleep fucked last night...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
