plz talk dirty to me
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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