Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
