Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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