It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the condom got lost in my hair
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
