i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
