Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
