Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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