Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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