I am in a vortex of obligation.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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