U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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