your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
