went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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