Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
bring money and cleavage
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
