? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize
