Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
