Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
