is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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