So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
