He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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