3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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