So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
