he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
