I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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