he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
